They say “think well and you will be wrong”, but I, risking making a mistake in style, go to defend the government of Don Luis Alberto Arce Catacora, president of Bolivia thanks to Evo Morales. Forget those malicious voices that brand it as one of the worst governments in our 200-year history. Slander! We are facing a misunderstood genius, a “national trainer” of integral fitness, determined to keep the Bolivian people in physical, mental and even spiritual shape. Don’t believe me?
Isn’t the fuel crisis a master plan to abandon sedentary lifestyles? Those who suffer from the shortage of diesel do not see the brilliant strategy for the “citizen of on foot” (never said better), to take out his sneakers and start walking as if he were training for the Olympics.
Gas stations lines are not a punishment, they are spiritual retreats: hours of Zen meditation as you watch your life go by slower than the line. And, of course, less smoke on the streets. Public health and ecology in one movement!
In reality, the government knows that the lines are preventive acts, because, in addition to educating in civic discipline and the technique of dialogue, they manage to reduce cases of violence. Isn’t the main source of violence in the home? Ergo, if there is no one at home…
The Bolivian worker is accused of being lazy and unproductive. But in what other country does a truck driver or taxi driver work 18 hours a day, regardless of whether it’s a holiday or not? Eight driving and ten in line to refuel. This is more than Stakhanovism! And let’s not talk about the opposition assembly members, who watch entire nights to block shady contracts on lithium. I believe that all of them deserve the “Hummingbird of the Valleys” award from the Dr. Moya Foundation.
The lack of dollars is another social measure by the government to promote financial fitness. No greenbacks, goodbye to frivolous spending, trips abroad and compulsive shopping on Amazon. On the other hand, we are all educating ourselves on the use of cryptocurrencies. Let’s leave aside the small drawbacks, such as galloping inflation or the shortage of inputs for the same sector that claims to be supported. Are there no imported remedies? What’s the point, if we have ancestral remedies, which magically cure everything, from headaches to the frustration of coming back from the market with a comatose wallet!
Forget about boring and unhealthy diets. This government has on us an elite nutrition plan, forcing us to alternate chicken, pork, noodles and, hopefully, beef weekly, while keeping cholesterol and uric acid in check. That money vanishes faster than products? Details! The key is to stay nimble while dodging prices and creative in the kitchen – as true Master Chefs!
Protecting the family, starting with children, even if they are naughty, is a priority of the government. The president said it clearly: if his children have done scandalous business, let the “consortia” of that “justice” known since biblical times act (read Is 5:13; Eccl. 3:16).
In foreign policy, the advice of “A man is known by the company he keeps” is a thing of the past. This government goes further, courting Iran and the BRICS to proudly declare that we are ready to “hand” our lithium to them. This is anti-imperialist fitness!
In short, we arrived at the Bicentenary lighter than ever: a few pesos in our pockets, but with low body weight! And if History judges us, let it do so, knowing that we have pioneered the art of survival with wit, sarcasm and an unwavering faith that one day this nightmare will end.